Rhyme for the home boozer.

Mix a concoction of spirits,

Throw back a beaker or two.

Discard the ruinous ice bits,

They'll send you straight to the loo.

Pawn off a tipple to Granny,

She's off to a sonorous nap.

Old Pop prefers old sherry,

So sugar it till it's a sweet sap.

Keep some in the fridge for the morrow,

Comes in handy for polishing shoes.

With the rest it is best to drown your sorrow,

And be happy you've run out of booze.

Sketchy MPs

Someone once told me that they

slept all through election day,

despite missing the stump,

claimed notorious triumph

and receive ignominious pay!

Thinking grammatically.

In times when you feel up is down,

and your mood causes others to frown;

don't sink into gloom,

get out of your room,

and focus on the verb not the noun. 

Hangover

A boundless feeling of dread

Awakes me to morning in bed

Would that I could rise

Sans last night in my eyes

My brain a dry sponge in my head.

Fracture

A fractured bone gives a dull ache

Encased in a sturdy cast cake,

To make it more fun

The bright summer’s sun

Is rendered quite dull and opaque.

Ranking Composers

Schubert, Debussy, and Bach

are ranked below Wolfgang Mozart,

but they couldn't care less 

for such popularity contests,

only Salieri took it to heart.

Mel Gibson II

Devout Mel sits on the pew

this drunken day he'll now rue

for he beat up Oksana

gave the finger to Allah

and said something bad to a Jew.